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1 " Just deleting vandalism on the Chuck Norris page," Radar said. " For instance, while I do think that Chuck Norris specializes in the roundhouse kick, I don't think it's accurate to say, 'Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but unfortunately he has never cried. "
2 " I take my food very seriously. Whenever I hear that bell, I know Mrs. Norris is hankerin' for some spam. "
― Sandy Ward Bell , Parked at the Mansfields'
3 " Mrs. Norris had been talking to her the whole way from Northampton of her wonderful good fortune, and the extraordinary degree of gratitude and good behaviour which it ought to produce, and her consciousness of misery was therefore increased by the idea of its being a wicked thing for her not to be happy. "
― Jane Austen , Mansfield Park
4 " Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse kick you in the face. "
― Oliver Oliver Reed
5 " Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. "
6 " Chuck Norris can divide by zero. "
7 " Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg. "
8 " When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok. "
9 " Superman once challenged Chuck Norris to a fight, the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside. "
― , 155 World's Funniest Chuck Norris Jokes And Facts: The Best And Funniest Kick-ass Facts About Roughest, Toughest, Deadliest, Sexiest & The Most Fearless ... The Legend
10 " The earliest intelligence of the travellers' safe arrival at Antigua, after a favourable voyage, was received; though not before Mrs. Norris had been indulging in very dreadful fears, and trying to make Edmund participate them whenever she could get him alone; and as she depended on being the first person made acquainted with any fatal catastrophe, she had already arranged the manner of breaking it to all the others, when Sir Thomas's assurances of their both being alive and well made it necessary to lay by her agitation and affectionate preparatory speeches for a while. "
11 " As I travel the world, it seems that younger people identify me merely with some of the folklore in the 'Chuck Norris Facts' - those hyperbolic sayings that elevate my abilities beyond my capabilities. Others view me in light of the character I played in 'Walker, Texas Ranger' or in one of my 20 tough-guy films. "
