1
" Harold lies in the darkened room with curtains drawn. It is one thirty in the afternoon and his lunch tray seems to almost sigh at the untouched food. His words are soft and not many. He listens, looking down, as you speak about concerned staff referring him to a counselling program – you are here to see if he is interested. “I’m fine,” he says, in a rare attempt to meet your eye, and it is clear to you that he is not. He is 88 years old and five months ago his right leg had to be amputated due to complications with diabetes. Immediately after, he was transferred to an aged care facility an hours drive from his wife Elizabeth, two years his senior, who could no long care for him at home. A month after that he was transferred to this facility; his wife can now more easily visit him. But, he tells you, he does not know why she bothers. “There’s no point,” he says, and you wonder if he is also referring to being alive. "
― Felicity Chapman , Counselling and Psychotherapy with Older People in Care: A Support Guide
2
" In the past, my brain could only compute perfection or failure—nothing in between. So words like competent, acceptable, satisfactory, and good enough fell into the failure category. Even above average meant failure if I received an 88 out of 100 percent on an exam, I felt that I failed. The fact is most things in life are not absolutes and have components of both good and bad. I used to think in absolute terms a lot: all, every, or never. I would all of the food (that is, binge), and then I would restrict every meal and to never eat again. This type of thinking extended outside of the food arena as well: I had to get all of the answers right on a test; I had to be in every extracurricular activity […] The ‘if it’s not perfect, I quit’ approach to life is a treacherous way to live. […] I hadn’t established a baseline of competence: What gets the job done? What is good enough? Finding good enough takes trial and error. For those of us who are perfectionists, the error part of trial and error can stop us dead in our tracks. We would rather keep chasing perfection than risk possibly making a mistake. I was able to change my behavior only when the pain of perfectionism became greater than the pain of making an error. […] Today good enough means that I’m okay just the way I am. I play my position in the world. I catch the ball when it is thrown my way. I don’t always have to make the crowd go wild or get a standing ovation. It’s good enough to just catch the ball or even to do my best to catch it. Good enough means that I finally enjoy playing the game. "
― Jenni Schaefer , Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life