" I had to start watching [The Real Housewives of New Jersey] every week because, well, my IQ was just too high. I mean seriously up there. What can I tell you? After watching every episode, I am now officially as dumb as that brown, particle-like stuff you find outside and don't want to track inside the house. Rhymes with "wirt", I think. "

― Celia Rivenbark , You Don't Sweat Much for a Fat Girl: Observations on Life from the Shallow End of the Pool