QUOTE : An uninvited guest who makes appearances at public occasions with no warning. An unconditioned reflex that cannot obey the dictates of common sense or reason. A reflex that commits an act of betrayal just when one is about to excuse oneself from a populated room. A breaking wind that sometimes chooses the path of silence, at other times loudness. If one is born under lucky stars, one might make it to open spaces with no company just in time to expel the intestinal gas with an unpleasant odour. If star-crossed, a cough or a slight movement or even miscalculations in time to reach the door could cased the wind to explode in a way that compels those in the vicinity to shield their nostrils or turn their head sideways for fresh air in disgust. Farts are mortifying!