" Same difference,” he said. “The South lost and the North won. Abraham Lincoln came and gave the Emancipation Proclamation.”
“The Gettysburg Address,” Mrs. Anderson said. “The Emancipation Proclamation was delivered six months before the battle.”
He gave an exaggerated sigh. “Who's giving the report here?”
She waved her hand. “Proceed then.”
“Like I said, the North won. The slaves were all freed. Hurrah, hurrah. The end. "

― J.M. Darhower