QUOTE : Back when I was constantly trying to impress authority, I'd be really perfect and cheery on the outside but I would break down as soon as I was by myself... I had to learn to set healthy boundaries so I wouldn't put myself in a place of breakdown. Making pros and cons lists for hard decisions helped me do this. Now I'm standing up for my 'no.' I trust the instincts in my body; I get tension in my body if something isn't right for me. I have to trust my instincts without knowing the full picture. 'No' is a complete answer. 'No' means, 'I appreciate how much you want this, but I have to say no to you and say yes to myself." Fending is indeed standing up for your 'no.' It also entails letting others know that you are capable of fending for yourself.