" Having identity means that you know who you are and like who you are. You are able to be an authentic person in your disclosures to others.You have integrity.You believe in yourself and are responsible for your actions. You have your own opinions and you let others have theirs. You are confident of your abilities and respect those of others. To be able to make choices for yourself and to function as a separate individual is a demonstration of your autonomy. ...
Having identity is becoming your own individual and being able to express it. It means that you know yourself. It means that you are able to fit together into an integrated whole all the different images of yourself that have accrued to you throughout the years. Within that whole, however, there must be room for future images. Our quest for identity involves both BEING and BECOMING, for we are constantly changing. The man who never changes is not the man who has found his ultimate identity - it is rather a man who is afraid to seek his identity and has instead attached himself to a static role like a barnacle to a rock. "
― , Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples