" My father was a violent sod, and my mother was a coquette who, as they say, 'had a tile loose.' As for my brother and I, we were a pair of sullen tots who went around trying to pick fights with our cousins. The earl couldn't stand either of us. He caught me by the ear on one occasion, and told me I was a bad, wicked lad, and someday he would see to it that I was placed as a cabin boy on a trading vessel bound for China, which would undoubtedly be captured by pirates."
"What did you say?"
"I told him I hoped he would do it as soon as possible, because pirates would do a much better job of raising me than my parents. "

― Lisa Kleypas , Hello Stranger (The Ravenels, #4)