" ...most folks get locked into some idea of what they think gender is supposed to be about, so they put on gender-performances for each other. They act out who they they have to be. And most of the time, they end up not knowing the difference between the mask they're wearing and who they really are. Charles, a real man doesn't worry what kind of underwear he's wearing, what color it is, or if there's a little lace on the bottom, because he knows he's not his underwear. It doesn't mean anything. "What you're finding out is that you are not the mask. Because when you can put on one gender-performance, and then take it off and put on another, and then take that one off too, that's when you start to realize how much of what you think is really you is just a performance. And when you can recognize it as a performance, it loses all of its power. That's when you can see the difference clearly between and - in yourself and everyone else. "