" I have to say I’m truly shocked at what men deem appropriate behavior in the modern dating world.”
“You,” she said, pointing a finger at him. “YOU are shocked.”
“I am. I’m not sure how you women put up with it.”
“The struggle is real. Go on.”
“Your emails all include emoticons, usually hearts and smiley faces, and your Netflix queue consists mostly of romantic comedies. Oh, and you’re a 34C. That’s just the stuff I can remember off hang. I’m sure there’s more.”
She was horrified. “How do you know my bra size?”
“I scrolled through your order history at Victoria’s Secret.”
“Well, that’s not at all creepy,” she deadpanned.
“Did you know there are items in your shopping cart? Sweaters. Lots of thick, long, skin-covering sweaters. Frankly, it confused me.”
“”Maybe I already own plenty of lingerie. Considering I walk to work, sweaters are more practical. Plus, they’re awfully cute.”
“I added a few things to your cart and checked out for you. I paid for it with my credit card. Expedited the shipping too, so you should have it by Monday.”
“You ADDED a few thing?”
“One hint: not sweaters.”
“How wildly inappropriate.”
“Kid in a candy store. Couldn’t help myself.”
“How?”
“Excuse me?”
“You obviously hacked into my computer. How did you do it?”
“I came in your backdoor.”
“I’m certain you did not.”
“I assure you that I did.”
“Without even discussing it with me first? No preparation? No warning? Don’t you think that’s incredibly bad form?”
He grinned. “Are we still talking about your computer? Because I find you utterly delightful right now?”
…..
“Get out of my computer immediately, I’m willing to move past the fact that you hacked me, but it ends now.”
“No more backdoor?”
“No more backdoor.”
He appeared crestfallen. “Ever?”
“Never,” she said firmly.
“Not even on my birthday or like a special occasion? "
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