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" If the conversation is about one partner’s jealousy or other intense feelings, your first goal should be to listen. Reassure her of your commitment to the relationship. At the moment when a partner is having intense feelings such as hurt, insecurity, jealousy, or betrayal, acknowledge those feelings, validate and respect them, even if you don’t understand them. Don’t try to talk anyone out of how they’re feeling with rational arguments; telling them why they shouldn’t feel a certain way will get you nowhere. A more objective opinion and reassurances about what’s going on from your perspective can come later. "

Tristan Taormino , Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships


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Tristan Taormino quote : If the conversation is about one partner’s jealousy or other intense feelings, your first goal should be to listen. Reassure her of your commitment to the relationship. At the moment when a partner is having intense feelings such as hurt, insecurity, jealousy, or betrayal, acknowledge those feelings, validate and respect them, even if you don’t understand them. Don’t try to talk anyone out of how they’re feeling with rational arguments; telling them why they shouldn’t feel a certain way will get you nowhere. A more objective opinion and reassurances about what’s going on from your perspective can come later.