" One does not ask about one's true identity simply as a matter of course, but only in rather special circumstances. What this means, I believe, is that " who I really am" becomes an issue for me only when my system of values " breaks down," that is, only when I realize that the values according to which I have lived until now are insufficient to inform a life that I can recognize as satisfying. This realization can occur in variety of circumstances: when my beliefs about myself or the world undergo significant change; when I find that two of my values conflict in a fundamental way; or when, as in the present example, the relations among my previous commitments are insufficiently determinate to tell me what to do in the particular situation I face. "