" Even the best-conducted women [...] have an aversion for the impotent,” [...] so one should conceal one’s wounds and hide the crippling deficiencies of life – poverty, misfortune, sickness, ill-success. People begin by being touched and moved to tenderness by their friends’ distress; presently this changes to pity, which has something humiliating about it; then to a masterful giving of advice; and then to scorn. "
― Patrick O'Brian , The Far Side of the World (Aubrey & Maturin #10)