" I realize that some of you may have come in hopes of hearing tips on how tobecome a professional writer. I say to you, " If you really want to hurt yourparents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you cando is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestitehermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you'vebeen to college. "