" I’m typing this as loudly as I can to deceive our lovely Indian maid that I can type amazingly quickly and that this is of vital importance, and that’s why I need her to come into the house three times a week and clean the floors, scrub the toilets, polish the stainless steel and buff the porcelain. Did I spell that right? I don’t know, but I’m not going to stop to check – she’s listening! "

― Eskay Teel , Alice in Worcestershire