" Keesha looked at me for a long time. " I did leave you alone. We all did. But you didn't get better. You didn't stop. You're still doin' all your weird shit. And I think it's time to stop." " You think it's time to stop!" I exploded, and lunged at her with my hands outstretched. I pushed her real hard. She almost fell down. " I don't care what time you think it is!" I screamed. " Do you think I want to do this! Do you think I like it?" " You pushed me!" " Yeah. So what?" " You're so afraid of being interrupted that you pushed me!" " I'm not scared of being interrupted, you jerk! I'm . . . I'm scared . . . I'm scared of being." I crumpled into a ball and sat down where I was standing. I sat on a crack. Unevenly." Who are you anymore, Tara?" Tears spilled over my frozen lashes and disappeared across my cheekbones. I had never felt so defeated. " I don't know. "