" The experience of chronic abuse carries within it the gross mislabeling of things. Perpetrators are really " nice daddies." Victims are " evil and seductive" (at the age of three!). Nonprotecting parents are " tired and busy." The survivor makes a giant leap forward when [he or ]she can call abuse by its right name and grasp the concept that what was done was a manifestation of the heart of the perpetrator, not the heart of the victim. "