" The problem with depicting abusers as full-time monsters is that when a person is actually experiencing abuse in their own life, they'll think " oh but he's the sweetest guy most of the time so he can't be an abuser " or " but he's not ALWAYS horrible, he's usually amazing, so he's not an abuser" , and they'll make the mistake of thinking they mustn't really be being abused when they actually are. "