" Stop worrying, Antonia. I know you despise being the center of attention, but as we all know, people attend balls for the sole purpose of quaffing down as much of the host's liquor as possible. It's a completely parasitic relationship, so trust me when I tell you that the crapulous crowd will take scant notice of you. "

― , Antonia Barclay and Her Scottish Claymore: A Rebellious Romantic Comedy