" Introductions should be to the point. Afterwords can go all over the show. Even so, I know there were a few things I planned to say, back when I started.
I've got it written down somewhere, on a napkin. You ready? Okay.
The US healthcare system stinks; friendship's important; sex is never that simple; and cats do whatever the fuck they want to.
That's all. Thank you, drive safely, use a condom. Don't make too much noise leaving.
Goodnight. "
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