" The Bridges of Marin County

harbor views back east
never so panoramic
but here

driving the folds
of mt tamalpais
the whole picture smooth

blue of the bay
set like a table
for dinner guests who seat themselves

in berkeley oakland and san jose
pass around delicate dishes
of angel island ferry boats and alcatraz

i'll save a spot for you
in san francisco spread
with your favorite dishes

don't leave me
hanging in marin
dinner at eight and everyone else

on time
you said you'd bring the wine
we waited

as long as we could
the food
went cold

witnesses said
that you stood
nearly an hour

i imagine you crossing
back and forth
leaning tower to tower

finally
choosing
the southern

your wish to rest
nearer the city
than the driveway

how long had you been letting
your two selves push each other over
the edge

stuffing your pockets
with secrets and shame
weighing yourself down

with cement shoes
a gangster assuring your own
silence

i pay the toll daily
wondering
as the dark shroud

of the bay
smoothed over you
that night

who did you think
your quiet splash
was saving

were you keeping
yourself from the pleasures
you found in the city

boys in dark bars
handsome men who loved you
did they love you too

did you wrestle with vertigo
lose your sense of balance
imagine yourself icarus

dizzied by your own precarious perch
glorious ride
on flawed wings

was it so impossible to live
and love on both sides
of the bay

did you think i couldn't feel
your love
when it was there for me

your distraction
when desires
divided

history like the water
smoothes over
with half-truth

story of good job
and grieving widow
but each time i cross

this span
i wonder
about the men

with whom i share the loss
of you
invisibly

i sit unseen in
a castro cafe
wondering which men

gave you what kinds
of comfort
delight

satisfaction
these men of leather
metal tattoos

did you know them
how did you get their attention
how did they get yours

did you walk hand-in-hand
with a man who looked like you
the marlboro man double exposed

did you bury a love of bondage
dominance submission
in the bay

did you find friendship too
would you and i have found
the same men handsome

where are you
in this cafe crowd
i want to love

what you wouldn't show
me
dance with more than

a slice of truth
hold your halves together
in my arms

and rock the till i have mourned
and honored
the whole of you

was it so impossible to
cross that divide
to live

and love
on both sides
of the bay

hey
isn't that what bridges
are for "

― , On the Eighth Day Adam Slept Alone: New Poems