" Wow, you look fantastic!” She stopped me in the hallway. “Did you get gastric bypass surgery?” “No, I lost weight naturally.” “Really? I only ask because of your skin.” She pointed to the excess skin under my arm. “Doesn’t skin retract if you lose weight naturally?” I thought of a million comebacks later that night, the “wit of the staircase” as the French call it. Like, Doesn’t it strike you as odd that your best feature is pointing out the worst in others? Or, Amber, go fuck yourself. But in the moment all I could think to say was, “It depends on how fast you lose it. "

― , The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance