" One of the implications of letting go of managing and controlling others is that you must relinquish the identity of being helpful, but ironically, that very act of letting go is frequently the single most helpful thing you can do for the one you love. The identity of being helpful is an ego trip, if you really want to be helpful let go of his problems and help yourself. "

― Robin Norwood , Women Who Love Too Much: When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change