QUOTE : I walked out into the parking lot and found the space he’d written on the rental folder. I frowned at the bright yellow and black machine that sat there waiting for me. What is that? A riding lawnmower? “This can’t be right,” I said to no one. I was the only one out there, so I don’t know who I thought I was talking to, but having a thousand conversations in my head over the last twenty-four hours was making me question my own sanity. Probably talking out loud to myself wasn’t any better, but what the hell … might as well change up the crazy every once in a while to keep it fresh.<br />I pressed the button on the key ring and the headlights flashed on once, proving this was not a mistake. “A Smart Car? Are you kidding me?” It looked like a giant, wasp-yellow roller skate. Maybe not even a giant one; maybe just a large-ish roller skate. Surely looking like a giant wasp flying down a country road was a bad idea for a girl with a sting-allergy…<br />I debated in my head whether I should go and argue for one of the other fifty full-sized cars on the lot, but then gave up on the idea five seconds later. “Screw it,” I said, annoyed as hell. “Might as well get eight hundred miles to the gallon, right?!” The tone of my voice had drifted a little over to the hysterical side, but there was nothing I could do about it. I was barely hanging on, the stress almost enough to send me to the looney bin. I just kept picturing Bradley saying, “You got married? To a complete stranger? In Las Vegas? When you were drunk? By a guy named Elvis?” It was too horrible to fully fathom. He’d dump me just for humiliating him in front of all his clients and his frat brothers and his parents. There were so many people expecting me to be the perfect fiancée.<br />I threw my overnight bag in the passenger seat and drove off the lot, wishing I could peel out and really express my anger in a satisfyingly loud and obnoxious way. But I quickly learned that a Smart Car doesn’t know how to peel out; it’s not equipped to do much with its lawn-mower sized engine. It just knows how to deliver me from Point A to Point B on a very small amount of gas with almost zero elbow room. I felt like a clown buzzing around in her little circus car. The only things missing were a little face paint and some floppy shoes. At first I thought I was also missing one of those brass honky-horns that clowns carry around, but then I pressed on the steering wheel and found out differently. Yes, it’s true. The Smart Car comes equipped with a clown honky-horn.