" For many people they are the only way that the false values they absorbed as children are ever questioned, reevaluated, and put in the wastebasket. This is not to say that there are no values at all in one’s roles. It is the over-identification with them that makes it difficult or even impossible to fulfill them. Perhaps the only way to become a great parent is to be willing not to be one; for example, to let grownup children become whoever they want to be without regard to oneself. A similar letting go process is needed for every role model. "

― Thomas Keating , On Divine Therapy