" Unfortunately, an unlived childhood cannot be lived vicariously. If you missed something as a kid, you have to work it out yourself, not through someone else. A child who grows enmeshed with a parent is likely to enmesh with a mate. Such a wife will take on her husband’s attitudes, interests, and goals as if they were her own. She sees not with her own perspective but with his. "

― Anne Katherine , Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries