" I’d have to agree. Some children are so neglected or stifled that they learn to be careful and watchful before they can talk. These early learnings affect our view of the world for the rest of our lives unless careful therapy roots out the problem and heals it. Even babies, however, can communicate discomfort, and small children, when frightened, draw back or say “No.” That first “no,” that first drawing back, may be the child’s last, but it is an honest defense. If the child is abused for his natural response, he quickly learns to squelch it. We are naturally inclined to defend ourselves from harm and we must be frightened into accepting harm. If, as children, we learn to accept harm, as adults we see harm to ourselves as the way of the world. "
― Anne Katherine , Boundaries: Where You End And I Begin: How To Recognize And Set Healthy Boundaries