QUOTE : often, surprises are just a way for someone to do something they’re not sure you would like, so they present it to you as a fait accompli so you can’t argue with them about it. And even worse, you have to put on a happy face, because ‘It’s a surprise!’ so you’re supposed to be thrilled about it, and you look like a jerk when you’re not. There have been a handful of times in my life when a surprise was thoughtful, someone thinking about what would make me happy. But too often, it’s them thinking about themselves. The problem is so often surprises are about the other person and what they want, and not the person they’re surprising.