QUOTE : ...I lost faith," I blurted. "Whatever shred I'd been clutching. Lost all control. Of everything apart from my body." I hugged my arms around my ribs. "I became a dictator of it. The dictator bent on destruction. Not because I was suicidal but because even through destruction came control. I was the agent of my own destiny, or in this case my own demise. In a world that gave me a life I had no control over, my body became my kingdom in which I ruled. There was a kind of brutal comfort in that.