" I assume it was someone’s idea of a joke to insert in the minutes from last week’s budget meeting the idea of me serving as associate chair? Given your three-year mandate to ‘turn English around’, I presume that — if you need assistance quelling the rabble —you’d search for some hapless junior faculty member who lacked the clout to refuse. As for me, I am probably the least likely associate chair you could find. No one would listen to me; I seldom listen to myself. "

― Julie Schumacher , Dear Committee Members