" In too many marital conflicts, we work too hard at winning the argument and too little at winning the heart. You can express your feelings and thoughts, even share criticisms and complaints, but the end goal of marital conflict should be care for your spouse’s soul, not trying to rack up the most points. Seeking to win is not love. "

― Matt Chandler , The Mingling of Souls: God's Design for Love, Marriage, Sex, and Redemption