" Relationships, like all human experiences, are transient; they change every day and are meant to be enjoyed in the present. When I hear people say you need to " work" at a relationship, what that often really means is just seeing through the day-to-day; listening to another person, listening to yourself, not getting stuck on hurts from the past, and not getting lost in what might come. To be in a relationship with someone you respect, care about and value is a gift, and when you take that in the day-to-day, you honor yourself and your partner each day. Eating is no different in that you can honor yourself at each meal. So much time in relationships is spent hashing the past, and arguing about things that haven't yet happened. A relationship cannot be " hoarded" , just like a meal cannot be prolonged by taking home the leftovers. "