QUOTE : Mrs. Baker opened the classroom door, pulled the shades down on all the windows, turned the lights off, and then patrolled up and down the aisles. I bet she was rolling her eyes then. It doesn’t take very long when you are scrunched under your desk with your hands over your head breathing quietly and evenly to feel three things: That your spine is not meant to bend like this. That if you don’t stretch your legs out soon, they are going to spasm and you’ll lose all feeling and probably not be able to walk for a very long time. That you are going to throw up any minute, because you can see the wads of Bazooka bubblegum that Danny Hupfer has been sticking under his desk all year, which now look like little wasp nests hanging down. But we followed our government’s drill procedures precisely and stayed under our desks for eighteen minutes, until the wind would have whisked away the first waves of airborne radioactive particles, and the blast of burning air would have passed overhead, and the mushroom cloud would no longer be expanding, and every living thing would have been incinerated except for us because we were scrunched under our gummy desks with our hands over our heads, breathing quietly and evenly.