" Life is a game of chance, each passing day becomes another flip of the coin.
Nothing is unique. Everything I’ve experienced even for the first time has been identified and photographed a million times, the curve of a woman’s hips, the tropical sunset, the tower on the hill, a close up of a celebrity, captured by minds similar to mine and littered in the annexes of the psyches of people I don’t know.
I am an understudy in my own life, I don’t know what will happen and in my mind anything can happen at anytime.
I am an emotional fossil, i have picked apart every fibre of my thoughts, feelings and emotions apart with caliper and forceps, as i ponder sometimes with great anxiety over my looming and inexorable future.
That doom follows me like a hovering presence outside the windows and hallways of my life, i don’t have a map of where i am heading or master key to open doors or gateways to my success- i am still even on the sunniest days, feeling around in the dark.
You cannot study me, you are bound to fail for somedays you will feel as if you are peeping through a keyhole at my life. You know you don’t know everything, for i have hallways you cannot unlock, attics and stairways you cannot access and even when you stare through that keyhole, you aren’t sure if you are looking in or looking out.

My mind and feelings have built up over time like a strong fortress, my love life remaining but the only, for some, psychological entryway. "

― Crystal Evans ,