QUOTE : But at the same time, there’s a lot of friction at home. My father is yelling and screaming about how I’m going to make a living now, and my mother wants this career for me, and I can hardly eat anything anymore because of all that ado. My father is an old man and his life consists only of filthy cards and drinking beer and schnapps, and sitting around in bars — and that costs money! So when I no longer give him anything, I’m actually taking away from him. And I don’t cost him any money, except for sleeping in that crummy attic — and I hardly ever eat at home, but get invited to eat out. But now his entire face spells reproach. Looks like I’m going to have to find me a man to pay for my clothes and 50 marks a month for at home, so he keeps quiet. And if I tell him how I got the money, he kicks me out — for moral reasons. But if I don’t tell him, he doesn’t ask and doesn’t wonder about it, because he gets the money and it gives him peace of mind when he doesn’t have to think about anything.