" It is not how the wrong is done that matters, but how it is taken”4—as did Marcus Aurelius: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. "

― William B. Irvine , The Stoic Challenge: A Philosopher's Guide to Becoming Tougher, Calmer, and More Resilient