" Oh, blast, this is all so confusing!” she complained. “How is a woman supposed to figure out what a man really wants?”
“If you learn the answer to that question, do be a dear and tell the rest of us,” Minerva quipped. “Though as far as I can tell, men are simple creatures, for all their posturing. They want food, drink, and a wench to bed, not necessarily in that order.”
“And love?” Celia asked.
Minerva smiled. “That, too. Some men do, anyway. You’ll just have to spend some time with Mr. Pinter and find out if that’s what he wants from you.”
“And how on earth am I supposed to spend time with him when he’s been avoiding me ever since the last time we kissed?”
“Perhaps he’s worried about the difference in your stations.”
“That didn’t keep him from kissing me.” She scowled. “Besides, you’ve heard what he says about our sort. If anything, he thinks himself above us, not below us. He didn’t even ask me to dance tonight! He could have. No one would have thought anything of that. Instead, he spent the entire ball standing about, looking disappointed, and talking to servants.”
“Perhaps because you spent the entire ball in the company of your suitors.”
Celia released an exasperated breath. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m not allowed to ask a man to dance. And at least I know what my suitors want. Lord Devonmont wants to seduce me, the viscount wants peace in his old age, and the duke wants to marry me. I don’t have any idea what Jackson wants, other than to drive me mad.”
And to make her want him. She’d spent half the evening remembering his sweet kisses that afternoon and his fierce words about desiring her.
Had any of it been feigned? It was hard to know. Still, even tonight she’d caught him gazing at her with such hunger…
A rush of heat through her body made her bite back an oath.
“There’s still a couple of days left until the house party is over” Minerva pointed out. “Why don’t you just see how matters progress? Tell the duke you need time to consider his offer, and use that time to try to figure out what’s going on with Mr. Pinter.”
“In other words, ‘let his behavior be the guide of your sensations.’”
Minerva scowled. “Have you been reading Jane Austen?”
Oops. She’d forgotten that she’d read the line in Emma.
“Don’t get me wrong-she’s a good choice,” Minerva said tartly. “And I suppose that is good advice. Though I’d also advise you to decide what it is you want from him. Marriage?”
“I don’t know. That’s the trouble.”
But an hour later, after Minerva had left and Celia was lying alone in her bed, she realized that she did know one thing she wanted from him. More time alone together. More chances to see how she felt, and if it was real or just borne of some madness of the moment.
Only now did she realize how much she’d been protecting herself from feeling anything for a man. But whenever she was with him, she didn’t want to protect herself. He made her want to feel.
She fell asleep, dreaming of Jackson’s mouth on hers, his hands on her body. "
― Sabrina Jeffries , A Lady Never Surrenders (Hellions of Halstead Hall, #5)