" Think of him as an addict," said her new therapist in one of Selena's individual sessions. This doctor had fewer excuses for Graham. "His behavior is something outside of you that you don't control and can't fix. Don't hang your worthiness on his failings. But now you have to decide where your boundaries are, what you will and will not tolerate. Every marriage is a negotiation. Both parties have to obey the terms. "