QUOTE : Yawn...<br /><br />I believe that I love sleep<br />much more than anybody I’ve ever<br />met.<br />I have the ability to sleep for<br />2 or 3 days and<br />nights.<br />I will go to bed at any given<br />moment.<br />I often confused my girlfriends<br />this way—<br />say it would be about onethirty<br />in the afternoon:<br />“well, I’m going to bed now, I’m<br />going to sleep…”<br />most of them wouldn’t mind, they<br />would go to bed with me<br />thinking I was hinting for<br />sex<br />but I would just turn my back<br />and snore off.<br />this, of course, could explain<br />why so many of my girlfriends<br />left me.<br />as for doctors, they were never<br />any help:<br /><br />“listen, I have this desire to<br />go to bed and sleep, almost all<br />the time.<br />what is wrong with<br />me?”<br />“do you get enough exercise?”<br />“yes…”<br />“are you getting enough<br />nourishment?”<br />“yes…”<br />they always handed me a<br />prescription<br />which I threw away<br />between the office and the<br />parking lot.<br />it’s a curious malady<br />because I can’t sleep between<br />6 p.m. and midnight.<br />it must occur after<br />midnight<br />and when I arise<br />it can never be<br />before noon.<br />and should the phone ring<br />say at 10:30 a.m.<br />I go into a mad rage<br />don’t even ask who the caller<br />is<br />scream into the<br />phone: “WHAT ARE YOU<br /><br />CALLING ME FOR AT THIS<br />HOUR!”<br />hang<br />up…<br />every person, I suppose, has<br />their eccentricities<br />but in an effort to be<br />normal<br />in the world’s<br />eye<br />they overcome them<br />and therefore<br />destroy their<br />special calling.<br />I’ve kept mine<br />and do believe that<br />they have lent generously to<br />my existence.<br />I think it’s the main reason I<br />decided to become a<br />writer: I can type<br />anytime and<br />sleep<br />when I damn well<br />please.