" Listen,” Nyx said. “Don't let that little honey pot tell you what you are. You make who you are. It's for nobody else to decide. Understand? If I learned any damn fucking thing in my life, it's that. Got it?”
“Sure,” he said, but he was staring at the ground, not at her.
“Good. That's a bunch of catshit, letting people tell you who you are. Who do you want to be? Come on – who?”
“I... don't know.”
“Then you better start knowing, and soon. Because until you know what you want to be, other people are just going to keep trying to make you into something useful for them. "

― Kameron Hurley , Rapture (Bel Dame Apocrypha #3)