" In some ways this can feel like being revictimized, as though you are as toxic as your abuser because you won’t just hurry up and heal. I have termed this process “gaslighting by proxy.” Keep in mind that this is the selfish need of the stakeholders around the narcissist (who may have had a hand in creating the narcissist) to not have to face the situation for what it is, or who are simply relieved that someone else is taking the abuse, and they want you to remain in your role as proverbial punching bag. "

― Ramani Durvasula , "Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility