QUOTE : What I don’t realize fully is that I’m actually at the end of my childbearing years, which means that nobody is interested in hearing me ask the questions I most fear, long after the questioning entirely makes sense. I can’t completely admit it to myself—that the time for deciding has passed. I can’t say it outright, or accept that I have missed my chance, or that I did everything in my power to miss it—that I wanted to miss my chance. That it was a chance I never wanted, yet I felt obliged to consider it—to consider it until the very last second