" NEVER IN the history of man had one barbeque been so torturous. There’d been other feasts that ranked up there in the crimes against civilization—any dinner invitation from Vlad Tepes came to mind—but sitting at a picnic table groaning with food while directly across of Ichiro Tokugawa sucking on a rib bone had to qualify for at least waterboarding, if not bamboo slivers under his fingernails. "
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