" Loving somebody for real, a real marriage-it’s looking at what they do, not just what they say. It’s living with what they do, because what they do changes your life, too, and it’s understanding why they broke your heart-or maybe even realizing that you’ll never understand why, because it don’t make no sense, it’s just something that happened-and it’s deciding to love them anyway, because someday you’re going to break their heart, too, and you might not even understand why you did it, and all you’ll be able to do is ask for forgiveness. That’s what a marriage is. Really knowing somebody, beyond the romantic nonsense and a pretty profile and a sharp wit. Knowing them beyond what they can do for you, or how they make you feel special or pretty or flattered or smart. Knowing them, and loving them anyway, the same way you got to know and love yourself-not in spite of all the bits that aren’t perfect and need forgiving, but in inclusion of them. "
― Elizabeth Bear , Stone Mad (Karen Memory, #2)