" When I was in junior high I read a lot of Danielle Steele. So I always assumed that the day I got engaged I'd be naked, covered in rose petals, and sleeping with the brother of the man who'd kidnapped me.
And also he'd be a duke.
And possibly my stepbrother.
Then one of us would get stabbed with a broken whiskey bottle and/or raped.
Turns out the only part I was right about was that one of us was going to get stabbed. "

― Jenny Lawson , Let's Pretend This Never Happened: A Mostly True Memoir