" Grief is one big, gaping hole, isn't it?" I say quietly I don't even know if he hears me, but my words are as much for myself as for him. "It's everywhere and all consuming. Some days you think you can't go on because the only thing waiting for you is more despair. Some days you don't want to go on because it's easier to give up than to get hurt again. "

― Marieke Nijkamp , This Is Where It Ends