QUOTE : ... and when I dated to glance at him, he was looking at me in a way that was both predatory and gender (I do not think it's an exaggeration to say that my life since then had been spent in pursuit of that look, and that I have yet to find it a second time in just that balance; perhaps it doesn't, after high school, exist in that balance) and it was because whatever he was about to do was exactly what I wanted while also scaring the he'll out of me that I folded my arms and said, "I'll have to take this all under advisemeng." I knew immediately that I'd sounded sarcastic, and I did nothing to correct the impression. I guess that I had meant to sound that way, because this was the most terrifying thing in the world: that he knew me--he did know me, after all--and that knowing each other, we were going to kiss.