" Man, there’s nothing to eat here,” said Sean, distracting me from Eilish as he rifled through my kitchen. “Good God, man. Are those dried prunes? You really are on old codger, Leech. I bet you write in letters of complaint to the BBC about the inappropriate amount of leg shown on Strictly Come Dancing. "

― L.H. Cosway , The Cad and the Co-Ed (Rugby, #3)