QUOTE : So why’d you flake out on the party?”<br /><br />“I wasn’t in the mood. I kept picturing you crying here alone and pity won out.”<br /><br />“I’m not crying, jackass.” I point to the boring-ass milk documentary that’s flashing on the TV screen. “I’m learning about pasteurization.”<br /><br />She stares at me. “You guys pay money to subscribe to a gazillion channels and this is what you choose to watch?”<br /><br />“Well, I flipped by it and saw a bunch of cow udders, and, well, you know, it turned me on, so—”<br /><br />“EW!”<br /><br />I burst out laughing. “Kidding, babe. If you must know, the batteries in the remote died and I was too lazy to get up and change the channel. I was watching this wicked-awesome miniseries about the Civil War before cow udders came on.