" decency, loyalty, courage, how it all shrivelled away when one was frightened. She remembered Lilian reaching for her hand as the foreman got to his feet. In the seconds before the verdict, her own grip had tightened like a vice. Had she been about to urge Lilian forward, or to hold her back? She didn’t know. She would never know. And the not knowing wasn’t like the absence of something, it was like another burden, a different shape and weight from the last. The lightness left her. She "
― Sarah Waters , The Paying Guests